OKPA-DI-OKU

Saturday mornings in omagba were always characterized with incessant ringing of bells by little children who beckon other sleeping children for their morning mass. They ring the bell rhythmically so it could blend into everyone’s name. They stumped their foots to the beat of the bell and clapped amidst careless cum vibrant chants. This group of miniature fanatics never passed our yard without hollering the names of the catholic children who lived in our compound. They go- ‘chibueze! Bianu morni mass, okenna! bianu morni mass, afoma! bianu morni mass, uche! bianu morni mass. –chibueze! Come for morning mass, Okenna ! Come for morning mass, Afoma! Come for morning mass, Uche! Come for morning mass”. As they pass other yards, they called the names of the kids who lived there. I always wondered how they knew the names of every catholic child around. It remained a mystery.

.

As non-Catholics,

MEN ARE OVERGROWN BABIES

         MEN ARE OVERGROWN BABIES

I am a man, I have few strands of hairs under my jaw, I have a baritone voice, I have few whiskers above my upper lip. Again, I stand up to urinate. Finally, I have erections every morning when I wake up.

The reason for this unconventional and outlandish style of starting an essay is to state the obvious. I AM A MAN. I am sure that my being a man will be questioned by male chauvinists and gender bigots. 

Factually, I do not in any way applaud the concept of feminism. My reason?  ‘It is a guarded secret’. All I know is that the stuff doesn’t go down well with me. It just unsettles me.

I stand in awe of great women. Their strength and panache is just out of this world-it is top-notch. Their brilliance is unparalleled. When I see them, the yearning for greatness in me bows and greets the already made greatness in them. When I stand in the threshold of their awesomeness, I never in anyway become gender conscious. Success isn’t homogenized to one gender alone. Gender prejudice is dire blasphemy to me. I am just an advocator of a level playing ground for the both genders.

When I say that men are oversized babies, I do not mean that men are infants, I do not mean that we are still suckling’s. (At least not in the real sense of being a suckling).  I mean that we are big babies who are basking in the euphoria of patriarchy.

In my early readings as a child, I remember lucidly an assertion that meant nothing to me then. It says “the higher your need, the lesser your control”.

The needs of men are countless. To mention a few; good food, good sex, good care. Etc . 

Looking at these needs,

MY PROBLEM WITH ORGANIZED SCHOOLING

 

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school,”
– Albert Einstein

I have nothing against the acquisition of knowledge as I am a greedy consumer of knowledge. But on the contrary, I do have a serious problem with organized schooling with stipulated curriculum that is hell-bent on judging diverse and multiplicity of talents with pen to paper examination (or most recently computer based test).

Assuming the society hadn’t earlier stigmatized the un-identification of an individual with a school, the best form of gaining knowledge and self development to me is the informal form of education. This form of education has nothing to do with the stereotyping and homogenizing of knowledge. This form of education has its arms wide spread to embrace any knowledge that comes its way.

I see the general concept of formal education which is solely built on the foundation of the ritual of judging legion of students with one means which is the celebrated examination as an insult to ones intelligence. I am totally grieved with the entire ideology of examinations. My reason for frowning

Rant of Life.

I don't want to talk about this but I feel
it's necessary.
*wipes tear*
I can't remember exactly when but It's this
month. I was coming back to my base from
enugu. Few minutes after we (my bus) moved, I
could see a legion of people clustered around a
particular place.
Within some minutes, there was hold up. A very
serious one at that.
I looked over to that spot where people where
sardined (clustered ). Most people I saw had their
jaws sagging, others buried their nose and mouth
in their palms leaving their eyes to send a
message of shock and pity . The similarities that
was shared between everyone there was the
portrayal of pain, pity and tears.
We were in a serious hold up so I had the
opportunity to know what was happening.
When I got there,....
Phew!!
...I saw what I pray never to see again. The belts
of my jaw loosened to let my jaw sag
comfortably, my eyes were soaked with tears, I
didn't know what to do again whether to go to
the bus or faint from what Was before me.
*shakes head*
I saw a car (sienna ) that was hit beyond
recognition, all the air bags escaped from all
parts of their hiding place.
I still wanted to see everything that had happened
there.
Now, I saw a young man with his hand still
cleaving to the steering wheel, his seat belt still
holding him to the sit, his head was open, his
legs where in shambles! (I believe he was a
driver )
Looking behind, I saw a husband and wife.
Kaii!
The man didn't have much injury I think. But as
for dead? he was dead!
His wife was the main person that was hit.
The only way I knew she was a woman was her
skirt. The only thing remaining in her head was
her lower lip and lower dentition.
Damn!
She was facing front but her waist had turned
fully (opposite of what it should be).
I saw the human brain for the first time since I
was born.
Her brain was sitting on the back of her husband,
other things that makes up my head and your
head was scattered around that vehicle like butter
spread on bread!
I will be sincere; some tears dropped, I was
pained.
I thought about their children at home or school.
How Will they understand this film? How Will they
bear such loss?
*************************
The reason why I remembered this story today is
this;
Please treat people like you're seeing them for the
last time, do what is good to them. Don't open
your mouth and say "had I known I would have
helped " Help them when they are alive.
When I became a son of a single parent, the main
thing that made me cry more was that I didn't
treat my paapi too well. We had couple of fall
outs (courtesy of me).
I wished he could come out so I would beg him
and hug him again. But It wasn't possible!
*Tear*
Are you trying to tell me that assuming a child of
that couple that died in that accident had a
misunderstanding with his parents that he would
forgive himself?
No! Never!
Please treat people well.
Please!
Please!
Mr Banks.

Dear diary

Dear diary, I do not like what is happening in this school, every where I go, all the boys will be looking at me. Why did father and mother bring me to this school? Does it mean that all of these boys know me from somewhere? 
The other day, I wore a simple skirt o and they were still looking like the chapter after mark (luke). When I was passing where they were, I hear them drool like uncle jeffs dogs! My class prefect told me during the recess that I shouldn't mind those boys but I should mind him! But diary you know I can't mind him nau! His head is like my bicycle sit that is at home, his eyes are too big I don't know if he is a general overSEER! 
This morning in class balogun said anytime he sees me it reminds him of the figure "8". But I do not believe him because mother told me that any boy that is talking about my body is a son of Satan and I don't like Satan! 
Mother also told me that all these boys that like me will go to hell fire and burn!! They will resemble mallam shehu's suya! I wonder how class prefect and his big head will be when he looks like suya! Anyway it's not my bussines! 

Diary I am coming lemme go and eat before hunger strangles me!

Diary series with Mr banks!

HATE

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that, Martin luther king jnr,

The word hate is the end point of the excercise of envy. The seed of hate is initialy planted as jelousy and when watered with the water of enmity it metarmorphoses into a big tree of hate. Things that trigger hate are often trivialities. The tree of hate has a very stong tap root of grudge that holds the tree firmly to the ground; the tree has tleaves of fury, branches of overwhelming wickedness!

Intrestingly, hate has crippled more than it has made to walk, hate has blinded more than it has given sight, hate has killed more than it has given life. Overtime,there has always been a very thing line between love and hate. It doesn’t take anything to slip off the line of hate and fall on love!

Finaly,hate isnt a good spice that should be added into the pot of happy living. The hate spice will simply spoil the awesome soup of good living! Live a hate free life today!

Hate isnt life!

Hate is crap!

Hate is a sin!

I WISH

Dear diary, you know I haven't seen adaora for years now! This morning, I was walking down the road heading to the bank , my ears heard a voice that it hasn't heard for some years now,
"oh my god is that adaoras scintillating voice I asked myself"
I turned swiftly with immediate alacrity, behold I saw adaora across the road looking gorgeous. Her face radiated beauty, her penetrative eyes scattered the gates of my heart, her skin looking polished, I could percieve h...er mouth watering scent from the other side of the main road, her hair was silky and dark! She was waving gently with her right hand, my crave was to see her left hand to know if there is a round steel in her ring finger.

I beckoned her to come over to the other side of the road while I was answering a call, out of excitement, adaora ran into a vehicle and the worst happened. I saw the definition of beauty lying lifeless on the coal tar, her dark hair painted with her crimson red blood, I could see her tendons, her eyes popped out of the eye socket, her right hand was on the other side of the road, she was in a sorry situation!

I was gone! The bones in my body couldn't carry me again, I was shivering, goosebumps clothed me, I bellowed "adaora adaora!! My adorable adaora don't go like this" my voice was mixed with the beat of sorrow, I wished I didn't tell her to cross over,i wish I didn't see her, I wished it was a dream, I wished I didn't wake up that day to go to the bank! I WISH I GET OVER THIS TRAUMA SOONEST!

I wish you see it as a fiction!!

LIES THAT GIRLS FALL FOR.

1: I love your mind, you are so intelligent, my goodness, what an intelligent person you are. (Meaning: I want you, not for your looks, or anything else, it helps to relax you and your defences into thinking it's not sexual, cause he engages your mind, but he really is working on engaging something else)

2: Just making sure your day is going well (Meaning: Hmm, puts you in the mode of believing this is the go to guy when the day is not going well. What a concerned chap- notice, the question is not 'How is your day going?' which would show concern, but rather, he is subliminally acting as Mr. Fix-it)

3: I don't even want to go anywhere, just spend some time with you indoors (Meaning: I think this one speaks for itself, if you've been reading the previous meanings  )

4: You are a Christian, oh wow, so am I, I so don't believe in sex before marriage, I don't even want to have sex with you until we are married (Meaning: One of the most dangerous ones, it's like the ultimate defence wall crusher. It's saying, I respect you, I don't even want to date you, but marry you, touching all the right spots on a 'good' girl's pallet, yet all it is is a set up for that one day, when you suddenly feel like he has tried and he deserves it)

5: You remind me of my mum a lot, she is the most precious women I have ever known (Meaning: Confuseyou,com, make a comparison to, but still rate the compared lower than the comparee, 'she' is the most precious, not 'you', you blush and he's in)

6: I am giving up my player status for you (Meaning: Oh how sweet, he has been a player and YOU are the one to make him give up his membership, all so you start to see yourself as extra special, and thus easily give in to his special requests, then one day he would remind you that he told you he used to be a player, withdrawal symptoms a la carte)

7: My wife and I are going through, she is so mean to me, I have been sleeping in the living room now, for months (Meaning, I am the nice guy who happens to be a victim and rather than fix it, I want you as my victim)

WE ARE ALL TALENTED

 Everyone has a peculiar talent and gift that is hidden in him or her. Many have their heads nicely placed on the chopboard of creativity and their hands cum body wrapped with the strap tape of literary ability. Some have been stung by the scorpion of entrepreneurship. Many have been striving to recover from the stab of academic thirst... the list is inexhaustible. We all have something that makes us US. Embrace your fears: do not run away from them!!!! An egg cannot hatch without heat. Don't seek for comfort, go where there is challenge and competition. It will bring out the real you!! Happy new week to every dick and Harry!!

Face of MAF

Lol...
Face of markanthony foundation : Nonye Umeodinka

The boss

BANKS: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that frightens us the most and not our darkness. We ask ourselves who am I to be intelligent,gorgeous,talented? Actually, who are you not to be? 
Find yourself! Develop yourself! Show yourself to the world! 
Thanks.

UNCLE SEUN

 "Do you like uncle Seun" my brother ayo asked. I chose the affirmative with sentiments. Ayo said "I used to like him but since he married aunty amebo he changed "
Aunty amebo is very very fat, she is like the elephant we see in Nat Geo wild. Her legs are like those big big yams in grandpa's barn. She is annoying: anytime she sees us happy I don't know what our happiness does to her, she looks for a means to divorce us from our happiness. 
We named her "Washington DC" because she likes washing. Anytime she comes to our house she starts from the door to number what she will wash. She will say "when I was in Washington DC I washed everything I saw"
Ayo told me "maybe she will wash her baby to death,that is why she is still barren " I asked her oneday "aunty amebo what name will you give your son" she giggled and said "washburn of course" 
Aunty amebo said she could wash away people's sins!
What kind of woman is this? Always ready to wash
Annoying woman
Fat woman 
I am sure if aunty amebo stands in front of you, she can block your blessings!! 

Happy new week friends!! 
All the aunty amebo spirits have been drowned!!
No body will block your blessings!!
Have a blissful week y'all. 

Mr Banks

Dear Bibiwako

Dear Bibiwako,
I have not recovered from the broken heart you caused me. My heart pounds at the thought of your name. You tore my hear apart; you used the stone of material things to shatter the glass window of our relationship. You said you love me, I loved you too. You said you won't leave me, but you fled from me. You said I am the first and last man in your life, what happened? Bibi darling; I can remember vividly that rainy evening we agreed on dating, the promises,the vows,the hugs,the pecks. Where are they now? You thought I was rich because my name is Richmond? The love I had for you was the only rich thing about me. You made me weak; being strong wasn't enough. You made me cry; laughter wasn't enough. I saw the truth in your lies. I saw strength in your weakness. I saw perfection in your flaws. I saw love amidst hate. The thought of you elicit tears, the thoughts of you makes me tired of life, the thoughts of you makes me wish for a replay of the good times we spent together. I heard that your dreams came through. You got married to Christopher because of his affluence, you loved his cars and not him,you loved those gifts he gave you. I also heard his business crashed and his family members are blaming you. It is alright. I gave you a promise; whenever you come back, you must meet an open door. Be happy, all hope isn't lost. I need a reply from you. Thanks

Yours handsome Richie.

Mr banks

LETTER TO MY FATHER

 Dear Father,

I had a sober reflection of the good times I spent with you while you had breath in you.
My eye brows were raised by the thoughts of you, my eyes were drowned in tears. Goose pimples chose to cloth me.
We had fights!!!
Yes I miss those fights!!
We had fun!!
I miss that too!!
You were not a star, you were a galaxy.
You weren't a human, you were super human.

The love I have for you is like a copied assignment I can't explain it.
I miss our arguments
I miss our word rhymes
The thought of that awesome voice of yours sends chills down my spine.

A blind man could see your goodness, a deaf man can hear if your kindness, the dumb man could speak to the world of your tender love.
My love for you won't crumble like TB Joshua's building.

I can remember vividly that night you left, the stars didn't come out because they were mourning their very own!!

I miss you!!!

Mr Banks.

STORY OF MY LIFE (1)

From time immemorial, I have always had a weak way of looking strong. People took me for granted, friends enjoyed superiority when I am around them, father called me jelly fish, siblings gossiped about my weakness, I had no interest in anything my male folks do. I hated football to the last letter. in fact, I abhorred everything that males do. One day in secondary school, I think it was Jss3, all hell was loosed against me that day. I received all types of insults from people that I felt I was stronger than. I knew actually that I have stomached 4 coolers of insults, Inside of me was vibrating like a nokia 3310, my heart was boiling in anger like the hot water mother uses in making pap for us. I was searching for who will be a happy victim of my thunderous slap. I wasn't greedy. I just wanted one person only.The boy whose locker was close to mine suggested to the class that they check if I had a third leg at all. Ikenna a tall dark boy who ugliness embraced and swore to let go came to touch me with his hand that was as rough as sandpaper, he equally came with his body odour that pigs jealous. I stood up abruptly and forgot my fist on his mouth, before he could gain balance, I gave him a teeth re-shuffling slap that sounded like a banger. Tranquility drowned the class with other boys looking at ikenna exactly the way the philistines were looking at goliath the day David killed him in a duel. My shoulders went too high that i feared being a hunch back victim. People who gave me insults of my life defected like Peter Obi and became my fan within spit seconds. Before I could make another move, I woke up from sleep!!! DAMN! It was a dream. Does it mean that I am actually weak? *strolls away.

Mr. Banks.

SHADOW

Dear shadow,
I thought we were friends?
I saw you as a companion.
I loved your company.

I like you by my side.
But you are stubborn.
You go before me always.
I can't catch up with you.
When I try, you run.

You are a copycat!
Must you do what I do?
Must you jump when I jump?
Must you stop when I stop?

You are a betrayer!
You walk with me in the day
But dis appear at night.
I have lost my trust for you
Where do you go at night?

You now live a separate life.
You now have girlfriends
Must you visit them at night?
You go to see them and leave me to walk alone at night.

You are a coward!!
You are an impostor!
Bring all my clothes back.
Don't walk like me again.
Don't behave like me again!
Go! Go! Go!

Mr Banks.

DEATH and the aftermath

If I died today, there would be messages of how good a person I was,you will say how you loved me, you will go to school,they'd make the announcement and people would observe a moment silence for me, most of you will attend my funeral, you will talk about the memories you shared with me. You know my problem? Most of you treated me like a rag. Most of you will cry when you  remember how bad you treated me. But you will not let people know the reason behind your tears! IT IS A SHAME! Most of you don't know how much a person affected you everyday until they are gone. You don't realise they had a purpose. You look at their empty chair... you have to delete their number out of your phone and the only thing left is their pictures and memories. If I die today don't open your dirty mouth to say you where there for me when it is a lie!! I don't know about anything you say when am dead!!

DOES NIGERIA POSSES THE QUALITIES OF A COUNTRY?

MY COUNTRY

  I  live in a country

Where the poor gets

Poorer and the rich

 

Gets richer                  

I live in a country

Where theft and in-humanity

Reigns supreme

 

We live in a country

Were our leaders who

Should set the pace

Give the masses all the reasons

To doubt their leadership

 

I live in a country

Were I fall sick after travelling

On a well tarred road

Due to the acclimatization

Of bad roads

 

We all live in a country

Were darkness is our hobby

Whenever the P.H.C.N gives us

Light for more than 6hrs

We presume that it’s a mistake

 

We live in a country

Where news broadcasters

Easily mention ear tingling

Numbers of citizens who

Died in one thin or the order

 

We live in a country

Were plane crash has

Become the headline of

Our every day newspapers

 

We live in a country

Were members of the house

Are un-arguably the same thing

With street touts

 

We live in a country

Were an ibo man practically

Cant board the same bus

With an hausa man.

                                                                                    Written by mark-anthony junior.

 

 

 

'MOTIVATION' A STEP TO GREATNESS

Motivation entails a whole lot of things; it is not necessarily being motivated by something or a person. For you to be motivated you ought to have a motive. Motivation is the urge, the willingness to do something without being told. 
Down through the ages, all successful men and women had something that motivated them to start from somewhere before they got to where they are today.
Motivation is needed in our every day activity. The youth of this present dispensation has refused to be motivated positively. In schools, we find out that students fail some tests not because they are dummies but because they refused to set their goals and keep motivating them. Anybody who claims to have a goal or various goals should just get started because 'a journey of a thousand miles starts with a step...

HERE ARE SOME HELP TIPS FOR MOTIVATION

*Make your goal a pleasure: If your goal is to slim down, you know that the only wat to slim down is by exercising. So for the actualization of your dream you have to make exercise your pleasure.

*Be patient: It is not going to take place within a twinkle of an eye. it is easier said than done .when you think about your goals, think long term .If you want to build a house, apparently you will start from the foundation. The result will come if you give it time.

*Get a goal partner: Two heads they say are better than one. When you see somebody who is ambitious and has a target cum goal the both of you will soar to greater heights because staying motivated on your own is a very difficult thing. But when your goal partner is with you, you push each other up and encourage one another.

*Paste a picture or a write up on your goal some where you will always see it maybe on your desk or as your wall paper in your phone.

From the C.E.O Mark-Anthony Junior.

Make a list of your failures and things that irritated you and the possible causes.Throw the list of failures away,forget the past,put your head up and face today with a fresh outlook.Enthusiasm is a great antidote for fear.Practice being thrilled by the world,by beauty,by opportunity and by people who have penchant for oral literature."don't let the fear of striking down keep you at-bay from playing the game"pay deaf ears to people who say you cant make it.define your goals before leaving your house.It will help a lot....C.E.O!